If demoralize were to be put into words for me, I would have none to say. All I could feel is the utter distraught that follows me this entire day. It started out with a honest mistake and spiral down to the deepest pit of my life since my last stint as a law abiding citizen.

Its a blessing in disguise I would like to put it, and I know there is nothing that I could really do about it now. Just sadness and disappointment that follows me around...

Ever came across a day where everything you thought you knew about yourself were wrong and that somehow you realize you're not that strong of a person you thought you were? That was me when I was being pursue as a fugitive. Those man came at me like hungry vultures ready to devour whatever that is left in me leaving me with no where to run I stop at my step and surrender. I was lost, I know no one will be there for me this time, and I wish I could shout a simple Dad I'm scare, I am really scare and cling on to him like I use to when I was younger, But he too am running away thus leaving me to fend for myself. Its sad, and for the first time in years I wanted to cry like a child that has lost he's parents in the mall. Lonely and unprepared for what is to come.

I chose to sulk upon my mistake and drown myself in fear, walking under the rain brings me to a new heights of loneliness then I look forward to my later part of the day. To be honest, I was unsure about myself, my worth, my place, my name even. Then at the end of the road I saw a maiden slowly walking down the stairs as though the most beautiful image that I have seen in years, making the wait almost unbearable. And the next thing I know is that I was smiling ever so widely without even noticing it till I saw my own reflections in the mirror.

I thank God for everything, because I know that he holds everything and that everything, absolutely everything in my world. Never would I thought someone could save me from myself with just a smile and a simple I'm here for you, and to me that brings an awful lot of comfort in this dying rainy day. The word thank you soon begin to sink into my heart and I am once again reassured of my place in the hearts even though I know that the simple fact is that I am not perfect at all.

The laughter set me at ease, and for a moment I forgot all my problem and that I am just in a very peaceful place save in the arms of the one I love and at the moment I know that as long as I've got them, nothing could really be that bad?

Sometimes, when you're young everything seems like the end of the world, with this sentiments of my utter distraught I commit my worries and trouble to God whom I trust that he only wants the best for me... all I can say is that lesson learnt, point taken I shall rest my case and awaits for what is to come in the days ahead... for I know that somewhere out there there's always a pair of arms ready to take me in for whoever I am and whoever I am to become.

Thank you.

In my Place - Coldplay

In my place, in my place
were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost,
Oh yeah

I was lost, I was lost
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed
I was lost,
Oh yeah

Yeah,
How long must you wait for it?
Yeah,
How long must you pay for it?
Yeah,
How long must you wait for it?
Oh for it

I was scared, I was scared
Tired and under prepared
But I'll wait for it

If you go, if you go
Leave me down here on my own
then I'll wait for you (yeah)

Yeah,
How long must you wait for it?
Yeah,
How long must you pay for it?
Yeah,
How long must you wait for it?
Oh for it.

Singing
Please, please, please
come back and sing to me
to me, me

Come on and sing it out,
Now, Now
Come on and sing it out,
To me, me
come back and sing

In my place, in my place
were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah
Oh yeah.......