Finally, I'm letting go of all my downer thoughts, I can't help Smiling to myself, Exams will be over soon! :P

Please wait for me, just a little patience please?


Simple As It Should Be - Tristan Prettyman

Put your hands to my hands
Put your knees to my knees
Put your eyes to my eyes
Come on baby compliment me

Cause I don’t think that we
Should ever feel the need to worry
Ever get ourselves in a hurry
You know I love you
I know you love me

So time will go
And we may be
Far apart I know
But as far as I can see
This is so good
There’s no need for change
It’s alright with me
It’s as simple as it should be
Simple as it should be

And this love will build
Through flights and streets
In the end I predict
You’ll get the very best of me

So put your lips to my lips
Why not go on and take all of it
And just run as fast as you can
Just cause you can

Cause time will go
And we may be
Far apart I know
But as far as I can see
This is so good
There’s no need for change
It’s alright with me
It’s as simple as it should be
Simple as it should be

I am almost 23
Confused with all the lines in between
They are dying to be read
Softly spoken simply said

Tell me do you believe
In the girl that is me
With her feet to your feet
Well that’s all that I need

Cause time will go
And we may be
Far apart I know
But as far as I can see
This is so good
There’s no need for change
It’s alright with me
It’s as simple as it should be
Simple as it should be

Courtesy of Chuan

Three more papers to go! Sleepy like sheets now! ;O

Goodnightt!

Wrote a song, it is written for all these love birds around me. (: Its just so comforting too see Yong and Huiwen doing just fine, and Chuan and Joyce sticking together through the toughest time and all? it talks about the yearning to be together with another person and that risk that one takes when they step into each other's world. So yup, demo up as soon as I find a way to upload them. (:

"Maybe Tomorrow"


There so much that I would like to say to you but I don’t know how and when,

Won’t know if I ever get a chance but I know it’s not enough to win your heart

But it’s a chance I would like to take; I don’t wanna let this slip away

Maybe you’ll be gone when the sun goes down; but I would like to stay a little longer just for you

Maybe we be stranger when this all begin but I won’t know how you feel If I ever let this go away

But I’ve fallen for you

Now baby take my hand and we’ll walk out of this golden cage
Just to see if there’s another day for me to hold you close to me and never let you fall away

But If I could have just this one more chance, I would shout your name across all these streets

Maybe you’ll be gone when the sun goes down; but I would like to stay a little longer just for you
Maybe we find another way to go from where we are but I don’t wanna let you slip away
And I don’t wanna let this go to waste and I just know that I’ve fallen for you

It may be too hard to see the end but it’s never too early to say hello to forever baby.

After so many days and sleepless nights mugging at the utmost ungodly hour, Engine Math 2 paper is finally here!!! Seriously I don't think I studied enough that is why I am going to school in half and hour time to do some last minute recapping of formulae and all that my point of doubts.

Next monday, Fluid Mechanics paper... Three words: DIE! then after which is bliss! *Wide GRIN*
Tuesday, Material Science paper... COOL!
Thursday, Industrial Engineering... Can la!

You could see by that pattern that I suck at maths! HAHA!

Ohh! I wrote a song months ago, and it got selected to be used in Ying's FYP film! HAHAHA! So happy! erm... Its the music only though, less my horrible singing! But hey, I'll be credited for that in the CREDIT! (: Thank God! Finally all that talent pays off.

I have so much that is being planned out by my dear friends, first thing once we're done with IE paper we are going home to sleep our ass off and we'll meet at night for our night cycling which I have planned a monstrous route that I have taken when I was 14 years old. HAwhaw! NICE!!

After which later the month, going malaysia to Yong's house for the food trip. It was actually postpone because Qiang is afraid something might happen because it is the seventh month! I rest my case on that, :F what the hell though!

Then It's Genting with Xavier, Christine and gang! It's not bad, though it's bit expensive two hundred plus I reckon, with only less that a grand in my account! Argh!! START Saving!!

Sadly, was suppose to visit thailand with Celest Chong! and her friends... but last minute got pulled out because end up the friends travel earlier and her parents won't approve of her traveling alone with a super hot guy, tsk tsk! I met her Mom and Dad before, so all the more cannot lie to them that I'm not that fly, HAWHAW! Sorry Cel* See you on Saturday Morning girl! :D

Also, It's time to plan for the next OOPS! issue 6 and next big event!

And I will also be working for my dad meanwhile to earn some money! (:

Lastly, I will be so looking forward to Laptops Movies and random people watching over at the Ice-cream parlor with YANESSA VONG! (;

Hawhaw!

I definitely hope all these time I have will be well spent to feel better and all, though I felt as delirious as you when you first heard the truth from her during your O's period. I think you could relate to that? Really, I need a breakthrough. I cannot bring myself to stay on in this apartment any longer when there's only me since you decided to take you leave. It's only right for me to do so, So I'm just gonna pack my stuff and close the doors, put all these behind me, I miss Home, Ah Gong & Grandma, Hui Xuan(Xiao Dong Si), your Aunts, Ah Eng Uncle and your Mom though... oh well, nevermind.

*Disclaimer: I don't mean it like an actual apartment? Its a metaphor(see Dictionary.com) its a place where the things that are dearest to you lies(:*

If I ever Feel Better - Pheonix

They say an end can be a start
Feels like I've been buried yet I'm still alive
It's like a bad day that never ends
I feel the chaos around me
A thing I don't try to deny
I'd better learn to accept that
There are things in my life that I can't control

They say love ain't nothing but a sore
I don't even know what love is
Too many tears have had to fall
Don't you know I'm so tired of it all
I have known terror dizzy spells
Finding out the secrets words won't tell
Whatever it is it can't be named
There's a part of my world that's written away

You know I don't want to be clever
To be brilliant or superior
True like ice, true like fire
Now I know that a breeze can blow me away
Now I know there's much more dignity
In defeat than the brightest victory
I'm losing my balance on the tight rope
Tell me please, tell me please, tell me please...

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

Hang on to the good days
I can lean on my friends
They help me going through hard times
But I'm feeding the enemy
I'm in league with the foe
Blame me for what's happening
I can't try, I can't try, I can't try...

No one knows the hard times I went through
If happiness came I miss the call
The stormy days ain't over
I've tried and lost know I think that I pay the cost
Now I've watched all my castles fall
They were made of dust, after all
Someday all this mess will make me laugh
I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait...

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know
If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

It's like somebody took my place
I ain't even playing my own game
The rules have changed, well I didn't know
There are things in my life I can't control
I feel the chaos around me
A thing I don't try to deny
I'd better learn to accept that
There's a part of my life that will go away

Dark is the night, cold is the ground
In the circular solitude of my heart
As one who strives a hill to climb
I am sure I'll come through I don't know how
They say an end can be a start
Feels like I've been buried yet I'm still alive

I'm losing my balance on the tight rope
Tell me please, tell me please, tell me please...

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

Its past twelve and my tired soul is hovering around in school studying for the exams that is due in less than three days time. Don't know why I feel so down all of a sudden, felt like time actually stopped for no one but me. I try not to regret or to envy but it seems to me that everyone is moving along with life pretty well and somehow I still feel the same deep inside and that I am still troubled by a certain necessary evil that was meant to be dealt with weeks ago. Seriously don't know how I feel, or rather I don't know myself at all?

If this is all nothing but a simple post exam craze I hope It'd be over soon, though I know that I wouldn't really look forward to the another lonely summer...

Whatever it is, I think I'm just gonna stick to my routine till I'm feeling better.

Sleep + Eat + Study + Stone + Study and the cycle repeats itself.
_________________________________________________________________
Anyway, Sent in my demo to Celest and Leon today, hopefully it could help them with the film one way or another, will be so looking forward to see the end product for "Perception"

_________________________________________________________________

Caught Spirit of the Victim again with the youth, all cram into my new room, it was pretty swell and after that watched Colic with Junwei, Huiru and Bro though Lihan wanted to stayed on but miscommunication on Eugene's part. If not I could have send Lihan home and she would have stayed on. Its just not that fun watching a horror with four people in the Cinema I reckon.

Oh wells, anyway. Time is a constant, It is beyond me that it should decide to stop for no one but me. Glad that no one is here with me though, because its a shit place to be at for sure.

Goodnightt.

__________________________________________________________________


I don't know - Lisa Hannigan


I don't know what you smoke or what countries you've been to
if you speak any other languages other than your own
but I'd like to meet you

I don't know if you drive if you love the ground beneath you
I don't know if you write letters or panic on the phone still
I'd like to call you all the same, if you want to, I am game.

I don't know if you can swim or if the sea has any draw for you
if you're better in the morning or when the sun goes down I'd like to talk to you
I don't know if you can dance if the thought ever occurred to you if you eat what you've been given or push it round your plate still
I'd like to cook for you all the same, I would want to, I am game,

If you walk my way and I could keep my head we could creep away in the dark or maybe not, we could shoot it down anyway.

I don't know if you read novels or the magazines if you love the hand that feeds you I assume that your heart's been bruised I know I'd like to know you you don't know if I can draw at all or what records I am into if I sleep like a spoon or rarely at all or maybe you would do? maybe you would do

if I walk your way I will keep my head we will feel our way through the dark though I don't know you I think that I would do I don't fall easy at all(:

Dear Lord, I feel delirious. I feel that there's many things that are well out of my control. Lying here in the comfort of my room, alone... I just wish you could be here or rather I could bring myself to let you in. I miss you, I miss you since decade ago, when I was younger in my youth. Now I just drift so far away from you, encourage by other's testimony but not fuel by your passion at all. I try to thank you for everything in every possible situation but how long am I gonna procrastinate on. I know it days to come you'd still produce work out from my bare hands but through grace. I pray that my peers and friends will feel the same towards you like how I would have known your goodness Lord. I don't know what to do lord, I really pray that they will one day come to know you and that like me, when I'm yearning for the sleep that will never come I still have you by my side.

I seriously hope that my world would just quieten down for just one more day, so I can hear what you long to say again...

Lord, I lift all these up to your mighty hands. Please let me sleep now. Thank you.

Amen.

Sleep don't weep - Damien Rice

Sleep don’t weep
My sweet love
Your face so wet
And your day
Is rough

So do what you must do
To find yourself
Wear another shoe
Paint my shelf
There’s times that I was broke
And you stood strong
I think I’ve found a place where I

Sleep don’t weep
My sweet love
Your face its all wet
Cuz our days were rough

So do what you must do
To fill that hole
Wear another shoe
To comfort the soul
There’s times that I was broke
And you stood strong
I think I’ve found a place where I feel I will

Sleep don’t weep
My sweet love
Your face (My face)
It’s all wet
Cuz my day
Was rough

So do what you must do (Do what you must do)
To find yourself
Wear another shoe (Wear another shoe)
Or paint my shelf (Paint my shelf)
There’s times that I was broke (Times that I was broke)
And you stood strong
I hope I find a place where I belong (Hope I find a place to)

Sleep don’t weep
My sweet love
My face
It’s so wet
Cuz my day
Was rough

Sleep don’t weep
My sweet love
My face
So wet
Cuz my days
Were rough

Look at the look on singer's face, it was a moment of fulfillment and joy of doing what one love... Personally I admire that.

That was my evening, over at the Ge tai for a Seventh Month Bidding ceremony. I've got to say, I have the worst seat human could have and the best seat a ghost could have which was right beside the altar. To make things worst, a indian uncle gate crash and sat down beside me claiming that he needs to break the ice. So for the next three hours I have never stop hearing his voice. He seriously totally spoilt my mood for the evening top things off, he was drunk and he wanted to literally bring a ice and break it in front of us. After the dessert I took my leave as soon as I can like a child who can't wait to be release from a detention class hosted by a teacher who talks non-stop...

After that, Went over to my grandma's house to visit her and pass her the bucket full of goodies from the Seventh month dinner. Had a short chat with her, I realized how strong she is, though with the monthly allowance she still wants to work knowing that if she stop she would grow old faster that she could handle. I admire that, though its been hard on her... she never complains, just mumble a simple longing for us to visit her more... Also I found out that she's 68 years old. Super young for a grandma. I had so much respect for her, and to me somehow she was the most charming lady I've met this week. (:

"Growing old, is never easy... you see your peers slowly failing on you.... Passing on" - My Grandma

She just hope that we're remember her when we finally grow up and start a family" I can't wait to show her my beautiful wife, adorable children and boast about my fantastic career... I really can't wait to make her proud of her grand children.

"Dear Lord... for all the grandparents in the world. Those unsung hero that inspires the very existence our family. Thank You so much for them... bless them... AMEN."


When it rains - Paramore

And when it rains
On this side of town it touches, everything
Just say it again and mean it
We don't miss a thing
You made yourself a bed
At the bottom of the blackest hole (blackest hole)
And convinced yourself that
It's not the reason you don't see the sun anymore

And oh, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming
Oh, oh, I need the ending
So why can't you stay
Just long enough to explain?

And when it rains
Will you always find an escape?
Just running away
From all of the ones who love you
From everything
You made yourself a bed
At the bottom of the blackest hole (blackest hole)
And you'll sleep 'til May
And you'll say that you don't want to see the sun anymore

And oh, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming
And oh, oh, I need the ending
So why can't you stay just long enough to explain?

Take your time
Take my time

Take these chances to turn it around (take your time)
Take these chances, we'll make it somehow
And take these chances to turn it around (take my...)
Just turn it around

Oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming
Oh, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming
Oh, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming
Oh, oh I need an ending
So why can't you stay
Just long enough to explain?

You can take your time, take my time...

Heart feels damn heavy right now, don't think I can breathe... Just hope that everything will be alright... Sigh~

Give it a listen won't you?

So close, So Far - Hoobastank

I wake up all alone, somewhere unfamiliar.
Been gone so many days, I’m losing count.
When I think of home, I see your face.
I know I have to wait…

(Chorus)
So close, yet so far
It’s tearing me apart
What I would do to be there with you
So close yet so far
It’s tearing me apart
What I would do to be back with you

I miss hearing your laughter
And all the little things
Forgotten what it’s like to hold you
Cause where I am right now so unforgiving
It’s numbing everything

So close, yet so far
It’s tearing me apart
What I would do to be there with you
So close yet so far
It’s tearing me apart
What I would do to be back with you

So promise
No matter how long it takes for me to get back to you
You’ll wait for me.

I Promise
No matter how far away I go I’ll come back for you
Just wait and see

I miss being at home
I miss your face
Don’t think I can wait...

We’re So close, yet so far
It’s tearing me apart
What I would do to be there with you
So close yet so far
It’s tearing me apart
What I would do to be back with you


I promise,
It’s tearing me apart
No matter how far away I go I’ll come back for you
I promise
Its tearing me apart
What I would do-
What I would do-
What I would do to be there with you

It's as simple as that, I just wanna live and be around the people that I like.


Studied overnight @ Mac with Chuan & Yong last night, strangely three big guys did some trashing out. Turns out both Chuan and Yong had mutual sentiments towards each other, I adore the humorous side of Joyce(Chuan's GF). She didn't say much throughout the whole time and when she finally did she said "Don't fight hor." Which is super hilarious, three or rather two big guys. Tsk tsk...

Anyway everything turned out okay, thank God I had some time to talk to them before they actually met each other to talk. That way I could maybe debunk some of those assumptions that they had as I was the MIDDLE MAN. Sniff sniff* ):

So I am studying now, 16th, 31st(August), 1st and 3rd(September).

5.4.3.2.1... Evacuate soul... Examination Poisoning... Feel the pressure"

Celest Zhang Zhi Wei(:, seriously sorry for being so blunt previously? I am indeed super flattered, Haha! I don't know what to say, can't tell if you were kidding or what, haha! pulling my long leg or what" but anyway Thank God so much for you! Rest well, We shall catch Me, myself again... this time I'll get translation. Whoo!:D !

Nessa, Piong. Super super busy now! Your tests are so way over right?? HAHA! Happy for you girl! Wait for me, I have another show to watch with you. Super nice! (: Enjoy your free time! Pretty soon I'll catch up with you! *Smiles* Hawhaw!!

It has become evident to me that most of my friends or people that brush pass this jaded life of mine...

You either die a hero, or you live longer enough to see yourself become a villain


Someone once told me that life is like a bus ride, there are bound to be people leaving the bus someday. Likewise for my closest ones, after so much have happened I seriously stop holding on to anything or anyone. I realized that if one saw nothing wrong in a situation that they are in, no matter how hard you try to convince them of your existence they will never understand and they will still go with their own way, stubborn, headstrong.

They walk out on you like a Beautiful sunset, a moment you're enjoying its glory and the next thing you know its already night time, Gone.



Golden Cage - The whitest Boy Alive

So you no longer care if there's another day
I guess I have been there, I guess I am there now
You knew what you wanted and you fought so hard
Just to find yourself sitting in a golden cage
In a golden cage

So of course I miss you and miss you bad
But I also felt this way when I was still with you
Yes of course I miss you and miss you bad
But I also felt this way when I was still with you

This city's no longer mine
There's sadness written on every corner
Each lover was made to sign
Now I hear them calling me over and over

PRETENDING TO SMILE, THANK YOU. WAITING TO HEAR THE WORDS YOU"D NEVER SAY...


TOO YOUNG TO HOLD ON, TOO OLD TO BREAK FREE AND RUN.

I am so so so Tired! I have been awake for almost 38hours!

Didn't sleep at all last night, was consolidating all the slides of today's presentation and went back to back. Presentation was at 1pm, and I finished my report at exactly 12:50PM. My other report had so much editing to do, my eyes are almost blurred now.

Went swimming with Frederick and then slack at library for a good two hours reading DC comic and then dinner with Junwei.

Meeting Celest at 7:45AM for GB tomorrow, playing guitar for them. Hawhaw!

Sounds like I am reporting my day eh? HAHA! So tired, haven't got much strength to think at all.

Anyway,

It's nice, in my mind there's a place where there's only the cool afternoon air and a quiet earth to walk by. It was just what I needed to rest my tired head to just walk on along with the river. A place where kids play badminton and angrily hits the floor with the racket when he misses a cot and man who tries so hard to stand on a roller blade and finally falls gracefully onto his bum. (:

My my, I don't need a holiday. I need time, I need a day, I need space, I need this.

I can't wait...

Woke up after being asleep for almost 5Hours! Feeling rather refreshing yet the sleepiness kicks is already starting to creep in. Kept dreaming everytime I closed my eyes to sleep, woke up with a slitted wrist in a bath tub full of blood. There were corpse all around me and the man told me that the police will be here any minute and I'd have to take the rap for all these. Wow, HAHA! I was literally holding on to my wrist when I wake up!

Yawn~ Goodnightt'

Dear Summer,

I guess life has not been very kind to us these days, It seems like we're always busy and time is such a variable. I am happy for you and every time I see your face in some random picture I just hope you're doing fine there by yourself. It took me a whole day to muster the confident to write this, indeed so much has changed over the pass few months and I guess we're just not the same anymore... I really won't know when am I going to get over it because it seems so hard to even stop thinking all together. I realize that I am bearing my all right here, right now. I finally ran out of facade to hide in, and if you must know... you won me hands down. I am as weak as I was when you first told me the truth. I suppose I haven't grew much, stronger? Happier? I can't help but to be haunted by the ghost of my past where I use to use the worst words on someone, the only one whom I've ever loved. I can't tell you how much this all meant to me but I am just glad that you're moving on just fine. Maybe I'm a little down, maybe a little glad. Maybe I've seen wrongly? Is that you who are attached now? If so I can't really tell you how much happier I could be resting in the fact that you're happy with someone now. Anyway this is all so random, as it was on my mind all along...

you were on my mind all along...

Love Always,
Joshua

Dear Diary, I am pretty happy today. Though a little tinge of undeserving-ness in me. I had the best afternoon nap in months, the best lunch with random angry staring at me, the best laptop movie watching and the best Ice-cream getaway. I don't know if it's mutual but I certainly feel blissful inside. Grin*

Woke up by 3:57PM, finally manage to open my eyes. The Sun's shining so brightly and the weather is cool, there's a patch of green pasture behind you and I looked up and there I saw your face. Then I think to myself, everything is gonna be okay. (:

Amazed by how you could always cheer yourself on every time you accomplish something, could see you clapping to yourself, which always brings a smile to my face. I don't know what to say but only to clap with you inside my heart and I rest in the knowledge that you must be doing fine"

I like the way you just call out loudly to that prata uncle with a HELLO!! and with a looks of serious disappointment when he told you that he had nothing to sell. That was most adorable, I thought.

I admire the fact that though all my jokes never ever work on you, you told me to just be myself and enjoy the rest of our evening and our very tub of Riverso Ice-Cream.

After so much words, I still don't really know how to put this feeling across, maybe a little fear, maybe a little joy, maybe a little happiness. Fear that It might all just go away once you know, maybe a little joy because of all these time spent, maybe a little happiness knowing its you!

I am tired but happy, and if this was all just a dream, I don't want it to end...

Thanks, Sweet Dreams My Dear.



Shy That Way - Tristen Prettyman & Jason Mraz

You know you’re stunning
You’re absolutely stunning
And I’m running always running
And now I’m crying
It’s only cause I’m caring
And if you were more daring
Maybe you’d stop staring
And come over and talk to me
Tell me bout how you’ve been waiting so patiently
And how you tried but I just turned away
And I’ll say yeah well you know,
I’m shy that way

Shy that way
Maybe I’m shy that way

Ohh you know you’re stunning
You’re absolutely stunning
But you’re always runnin
But I’ll catch up to you
The way you keep your distance is
Keeping my interest
So I’ll keep it persistent
Ohh maybe someday
Someway, somehow in some town
We’ll get together and
We’ll break it down
And I’ll ask why you’ve been
so shy, gotta be that way
Maybe baby, oh love, I like it that way

Shy that way
You know I love you so shy,
Shy that way

So keep it comin comin comin comin
Shy that way

There’s always too much talking
And I wanna just keep walking
But I keep staring baby
Keep staring
Though I may not know the right things to say
I’ll get it out to you one day

I’m shy that way
You’re shy that way
Do you like it
Do you like it?
When I’m shy this way?
Yes I like it
Yes I like it
When you’re shy

Shy that way

I like it
I like it shy
You know it’s alright, it’s ok
Cause we’re
Shy that way…

*Take a deep breath*

WHEW~

Sigh...

So uninspired...

Unmotivated...

So lost...

So much wasted memories thrown away like plates and plates of unfinished meals that have gone bad overnight, you want to save it but you know nothing you could do to savage any of it.

So much wrong turns over the months that I finally grew sick from trying to figure out the right way to go.

So much words I would like to say, but I don't think you'd ever understand.

So wrong, I have not once stop blaming myself for all that has happened.

So hard, every time I try I grew weaker...

I know...

nevermind, burn it down, bury it, let Time forget...



So much for all the promises that we adore...