I was lost for words for a few days, and finally everything seems clear to me. I guess God really have his way to convince me. But just wanna thank him for all the answered prayers. And i guess I'm just happy that some just turn out to be happier with my answered prayer. It's funny, I don't know? Though nothing really came back after despite all my effort? All I got was a 4 words sms and the rest got a whole entry post up just for them. I don't know, honestly I can't feel my emotions anymore. God really has a sense of humor, It made me crash so hard that I can't even feel my feet anymore. All I need now is to stop coughing and really rethink my self-worth in this whole issue. Of course I made a bet with God and I lost hands down. Thinking about it just makes it all worth it as God knows whats best and to cause me to lose will mean that I should just listen to him. Well, I shan't rant so much about my own stuff here, It's depressing enough. Kill that Emo jack and welcome back Mighty Joe,

All I can say is that I'm really in a state of an rapid hope lost...

And It really makes me wonder why do I even try so hard...?