Trying to get a new life, summer never felt this bad all my life. And somehow I thank God for all the things that I'm going through. Because everyday by being out of my mind I manage to learn a lot more about myself than I can within a year. I'm really thankful for it. SO this is to sum up my summer.

Indeed there are so much to say and no one to turn to, call me prideful or whatsoever It's just an alpha male thing. I don't expose myself to my friends. But then again, who understands not even the people I thought who will, I remember I once told my friends that in life friends can only carry you this far and the rest that of which is uncontrollable by us is then control by God himself. I wonder just what else he can do for me. He's just so amazing. (:

Though I know everything is gonna stay the same whether I like it or not, I'm just gonna be supportive and move on like everyone did, moving on. . . (:

Thanks for reading my blog whoever you are, I think it safe to say that this is by far the worse two months of my life. I needed support but it's good enough that you are reading this shit, Grin*

Randomness and pure blankness fills my entire head almost everyday, If there were sleeping pills I would have been poisoned by it just to stay in bed. Sigh~ what can I do? My eyes are swollen from lack of sleep and my stomach hurts from gastric and my self-esteem is busted I just wish I can get over this shit as soon as possible.

Last weekend, Gene lim asked me: Josh, how can I stop running away?
I just told him with a straight face, "face it, face your problems, face your shit." Hah! but gene, seriously sometimes facing your shit has its cons too. . . my shit is me, and what is there to face? Gene, maybe you are your problem too. yeah!

Before you think this is some Emo shit, just wanna you to know I am smiling as I wrote this. I mean shit happens. In life there are bound to be times when you get abandon by the people you trust and you are force to pick up the broken pieces all by yourself. Haha! Ain't it funny, this cycle never ends.

Since primary school I was left crying in the phone booth all by myself because my friends all ran away from me.
Secondary school, fall in love with the very idea of a perfect person for me, but I guess I was just young.
College days, stupidly has a crush on this girl that left me broken till I can't stand up anymore. . .

But now, it's just different. I can truly say I thank God for everything that has happened and is happening to me. Though I am jaded but like I always say, whatever don't break you only makes you stronger. It was only now that I realize that to pick yourself up after being built up is a painful process but I can live with that, I definitely can.

Thank God that. . .
I'm Joshua.C

Honestly speaking, though I love the people in my work place but I really can't wait for school to start and move on with life, Ying Ying called me today, It made me realize life is passing me by and I have been staying stagnant all along. So after school starts I'm expected in the OOPS! office again, ready to do fulfill my duty as a chief editor of the best magazine in POLYS! hehe! Chuan and Yong, I don't know why after so many freaking days and weeks you guys finally decide to call me up and hang out! hahah! But I'm glad you guys did.

Dear lord, help me to recover and to see life as normal and colorful again, because all I see now is literally grey, where nothing's wrong and nothing's right. I can't even justify my feelings anymore. but God, seriously thanks for everything that happened. Truly are. . . Amen.

Blame it on my youth - Jamie Cullum
If I expected love when first we kissed blame it on my youth
If only just for you I did exist blame it on my youth
I believed in everything like a child of three
You meant more than anything you meant all the world to me.

If you were on my mind all night and day blame it on my youth
If I forgot to eat and sleep and pray blame it on my youth
If I cried a little bit when first I learned the truth
Don't blame it on my heart blame it on my youth.

If I cried a little bit when first I learned the truth
Don't blame it on my heart blame it on my youth...