Today is the first day of the holy week and with much procrastination I went, I was late as usual and the choir was just begin to sing. Their song really surprises me in a very technical way. Because they were doing this whole Acappella thing. It was nice but it got me thinking about their lyrics.

I thought to myself, Jesus died on the cross for me? Isn't it a bit too old a deed? I kept thinking if I ever feel any sadness or a sense of guilt it would be only because of this public holiday named 'good friday'. So I kept a skeptical mind throughout the choir's gig. After which the projectionist screened the scripture of the day. It was Matthew 26: 51-56.

As I was pondering on the verse shown on the screen I was struck by this vision. It was a scroll dropped into a pool of water and suddenly it starts to bubble and dissolve into the water, kinda like the Vitamin C pills. Then a voice came upon me and said

"Joshua, all the problems you are going through now, they are not there without a reason. You always cry "Lord take away my problems, destroy my woes" with twelve legions of angels at my disposal(Verse 53) do you think I cannot solve all your problems and troubles? Everything you do, every step you made, everywhere you go I have carefully place you there so that you can fully fulfill what you name promised which is "God saves" and "a mighty warrior" who does not succumb to temptation and sin. For I did not promise a learning journey without pain but all these happened so that the Father's work can be fulfill in your life. And as you overcome them you will see that the Father's plan is to built you and not to harm you and so that in the end of days you may have a life that is so full of faith and confidence in the power or the Father and a life so abundant. Joshua walk away from sin, do not turn back to you old ways for the lord is always with you. Do not worry about what tomorrow might be but seek ye first the kingdom of the Lord and his righteousness and all other things shall be added unto you."

Bottom line is, I didn't know what came to me and all of the suddenly everything I ever need to hear was for him to say "I'm still in control Josh," Thank God. He knows what shit I have to deal with. Jesus knows, it wasn't just nails, blood and gore. I'm sure it's more than dramatic flocking and torture. It's the relationship he's after. . . Amen.