I appreciate the attention I get from everybody else and sometimes it's almost exclusive but all I wanna do is to hide away again. I felt like Mr Incredible Hulk, I feel the stress and pain but I've yet to transform to my worse which is anger. I realize it's not easy taking the rap on my own where someone else's goes on a vacation. Nothing's fair you may argue but this isn't fairness it's plain torture for me.

Tried telling my problem to my peers, some advice me to try harder to gain back what I've lost but on the inside I felt like I'm taking crazy pills, as an quarter of an engineer may I ask, how to fix something if it isn't broken in the first place? How do you lose something when you are still having it? 

What is the problem? what is the cause? what is your point? 

If the stars could express themselves I would have saw them and make their point but why not you? 

Such wee hours makes people go crazy, and I am the "Hulk" that yearns for an explanation so that maybe positively put an end to every little greenish part of me.