Dear diary... what is wrong with me?! Yesterday i worked and as usual i struggle to enjoy my shift, I freaking topple a pizza. sigh~! then everyone is like still sore over that incident, damn!

Everytime i step into work wondering where i stand and i feel like a loser who is always screwing up. Rivi commented that i'm someone who will 'always'(sarcastically) take care of myself, well she meant i worked like shit and i'm still eating my stuff meal like nothing happen. Isn't it crap?! people out there making decisions about you, they do not know how much you meant to some other people or what are your full potentials are, so if you're crap at something they just presume you're crap at anything else in your life... i'm not saying it as in it's me but you know? thats how they made me feel.

I screwed up!

However these are the isssue i can't control in my life so i dont think i'll give a shit bout' it, You can always change the way things are but you can never change the way they(people) feel.

well it has been a emotional week for my family. My Uncle passed away last sunday, it's sad to see the living cryin out for the dead? My mom is real sad bout' it she cried on that day they cremated him. I myself find it hard to believe that someone who was walking on this earth is gonna end up in that furnace or under those soil, sigh~ i guess thats life. one word: SHORT
Well i guess someday i'll die too? But I'm gonna make a mark on this planet before i leave for total Nirvana. =]

Here's a Cute dude:


Dear Lord,
I surrender to you fully again. I'm so tired of fighting a war i dont understand. I feel alone althought i have friends around me. Lord please make me whole again and like a child i trust myself into thy hands. I feel like a man who knows not enough and decide where ever i want to go without even giving much attention to any warning sign, I feel like i've lost the ability to pray that's why i'm writing it on this shit. =)
Dear father in heaven let your grace be upon your son this day, thank you lord.
Amen.